1. What is barbecue?

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Barbecue is delicious. This is not up for debate. One thing it isn’t, is grilling. We understand the confusion. Lots of folks refer to a grill as a barbecue. Why? We have no idea. Grilling and barbecue are entirely different ways of cooking. One is hot and fast over flames and the other is low and slow over smoke, a magic process that turns meat into a dessert. Yes, barbecue is meat candy, the most thrilling of comfort foods: exquisitely complex, yet primitively simple. You only need three things to make great barbecue: meat, smoke, and maybe some Willie Nelson.*

*You can decrease the amount of smoke if you make a corresponding increase in the amount of Willie Nelson music. Barbecue can only be cooked on a gas grill if Willie plays in person.

2. Who invented it?

Cavemen.

3. What’s a smoker?

Basically it’s a box with a charcoal or wood fire in one end. The escaping heat and smoke cooks and flavors the meat. You can probably half-ass it on a grill with a lid but it’s the wrong tool for the job.

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4. Is it cool to refer to barbecue as ‘cue?’

No.

5. Is barbecue good for you?

Why don’t you mind your own goddamn business?

6. Which regional style of barbecue is the best?

All right, we can do this the hard way or the easy way. The hard way involves us telling you who the regional differences are all equally valid and blah blah blah. The easy way is just to say Texas.** There’s really no comparison. Texas barbecue is bigger, better, and more complex. In non-Texas, they smoke pork and chicken. In Texas they smoke pork, chicken, beef, venison, turkey, duck, duck, goose, gator, rattlesnake, squirrel, possum, and various lizards. Maybe the real question is which style in Texas is the best?



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