Online Dating Rejections Every Guy Has Faced

21 Online Dating Rejections Every Guy Has Faced

Rude, But To The Point

Credit: Tinder

See, this rejection is so pure. There’s no dressing it up, no clever banter, no elaborate explanation, no diplomacy, no extra effort. It’s just giving you exactly what she feels: shut up, I hate you, go away. And something about the phrasing here is just unforgettable to me.

No Means No

Credit: Tinder

I know the clever shutdowns are catchy and all, but there’s something so perfect about that classic phrase “no.” So short, so final, so crushing. Look at all that white space after it. And in this case she even started the convo! You can sense him getting eager, feeling like he’s gaining momentum, and then just like that it’s over, blaow, snap back to reality, oh there goes gravity.

Hannah Can Spell, Too

Credit: Tinder

When you think you’re posting something that will get you in the clever-lines screenshot gallery but you get the tables turned on you and end up in the rejection screenshot gallery.

You Can’t Fire Me! I QUIT!

Credit: Tinder

Now these are advanced maneuvers: Talking at the person with no response until you realize the rejection is inevitable so YOU reject THEM before they can even reply to do it. It’s like the old “you can’t fire me, I quit” except if your boss never even knew you worked there — you just wandered into the store and started sloppily folding shirts.

There’s No “Safety Mode” In Real Life

Credit: Tinder

Here we see the value of entering Safety Mode. These two entered Safety Mode by agreeing beforehand to exchange bad pickup lines as good clean fun. But ooh buddy, if the safety had been off this guy would probably just straight-up died from getting hit this hard with a reversal this hard.

The “Vogue” Rejection

Credit: Tinder

He’s so close… this guy here recognizes the band but he’s right on the brink of understanding the point of the song choice. Will he realize he’s being shut down, or is he… never gonna get it?

Too Kehrless To Spell

Credit: Tinder

Alright, let’s switch it up: here’s one of a fella doing the rejecting. And it’s a real power move: not only does he shut down the joke, he doesn’t even kehr enough to spell “care.” Ice cold.

Sit Down, Young Fella

Credit: Tinder

Yeah that’s right, this guy is relieved she wasn’t interested. He didn’t even want her… that’s why he invited her to sit on his face twice in a row… because of how much he didn’t want her…

Hat Trick Rejection

Credit: Tinder

What’s worse than one rejection? How about three? Man was pushing way too hard and wouldn’t take the loss and look what happened: he got a hat trick hung on him with back-to-back-to-back rejection slams.

Coming On Strong

Credit: Tinder

Alright let’s break down some of the most common rejection tropes. First up we’ve got the classic berating: some guy opens with a crass line and gets absolutely read for filth with various cusses and scornful judgements (which, to be fair, ol’ boy usually deserves).

Pokemon Stay!

Credit: Tinder

The condescending disappointment: getting chewed out never feels good, sure, but there’s something equally crushing about someone just expressing sheer disappointment in what you thought would be a cool and chemistry-sparking fact about yourself

The Classic Mis-Swipe

Credit: Tinder

The “sorry, wrong number”: when she courteously wants you to think there was a mix-up, but there was no mix-up — you just managed to bungle your way into becoming unappealing within one message

The Reddit Rejection

Credit: Tinder

The meta-rejection: not only is the corny line rejected, but the entire concept of collecting corny line / rejection screenshots is rejected.

The Interrogator

Credit: Tinder

The interrogation: The interrogator is here to call you out and question you on your motives, your phrasing, your fake laughs.

The Old “Dead Puppy” Rejection

Credit: Tinder

The buzzkill: A real stealth play — instead of turning you down outright, they just make the conversation so curt and miserable you don’t want to continue it.

Voted Off The Island

Credit: Tinder

Never shoot your shot without an immunity idol, or you could find yourself voted off the island.

He Spel No Gud

Credit: Tinder

“Wats gud katie” is such a perfect, distilled Platonic ideal of the Tinder opening message. It belongs on t-shirts, billboards, plaques — hell, maybe even gravestones?

If At First You Don’t Succeed…

Credit: Tinder

Hey, if you gotta go find opening lines on the internet, fair enough. We can’t all come up with that good original content, and that’s fine. From each according to their memes, to each according to their needs. But if you’re gonna recycle a line, get caught, and then recycle your own recycled line again with the same person, you’re practically rejecting yourself.

Learn Your Alphabet, Fellas

Credit: Tinder

Similar situation with these. If you’re gonna do a well-known line you better be prepared to get hit with the well-known counter-line. If you’re the hundredth person someone sees do the alphabet thing, get ready to be holding an L instead of giving a D.

You’re Not A Poet, And She Knows It

Credit: Tinder

I hope you see the pattern
It’s not hard to connect it
If you recycle your banter
You’ll prob get rejected

Big Knife

Credit: Tinder

Damn this guy got forked up… How do you recover from being dished this hard?



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